swimming into the overthere-
my heart was melting in the palms of her hands and
still she couldn’t show weakness,
the waves are rhythmic and suspend consistent waves of reluctance-
to drown in a motion that’s swift and engulfing like an overlapping wave.
So lets go, tell me your threshold,
with violence screaming from your core,
how much is it-
don’t let go, and whatever you do,
don’t let go,
never jarred just scared the story started and
when things began choice was easy, and nothing could stand in the way of the green light, the will of power. And mistakes were made over and over new scenarios and many more layers of errors in terrors-
alien nation and your the outsider
the person no one wants to be around-
the phone was ringing and it was you,
were you telling me what was wrong,
can you tell me- what happened?
When you ask me- don’t respond, it’s the only thing that when thinking about it makes the most sense, there is no right answer to loneliness, and why have we memorized our actions after so many years instinct is handle-able, wasn’t sure what to say.
-Before you were here, this was already visited and today is tomorrows’ yesterday and the future’s not so far away when time is going by fast and your memories are accumulating like paper work on a desk.
When we parted there was so much to say and so little that need to be said-
Imitation seeks to be distinct.
-all this time people thought that you never were going to be what they saw in themselves- in you.
-all this time passed and you were always the same person unchanged but changed
and I have trouble believing my self,
I feel my body weakening, and I keep moving forward, there’s no turning back now,
its failing me, it’s getting me weaker and I can tell whats going on,
no complaining now, just keep pushing forward, straight to that wall,
it’ll be great… to stop and just be-
hit that wall
maybe break it maybe go through and not stop-
that’s wishful thinking, _____ ,your going to see this to the end, where ever it stops.
with your own life, the common factor is always going to be your self.
She was my enemy for so long,
or just not a friend.
It was my inability to have a better delivery that drove us apart,
or rather not together.
eating me away with each bite, she recycled my words and reused my energy.
Ours, was, a relationship of work, and it wasn’t working out.
To be honest- hurts sometimes and sugar-cookie-coating doesn’t help unless its high fructose syrup- which can congeal the blood as it bleeds.
The skies were not black the sentiment was not dark.
She fed herself from my mistakes and her womb was growing, sustaining it self off of my self- destruction,
tearing me apart she ate me alive like she was feeding from my flesh’s-
The terrible standard gnaws at me-
I read something terrible.
No one writes me-
And, I wrote this a long time ago,
For the future history-
Everyplace I’ve been to.
When I left I took the high road,
The long road,
The hardest path for me,
The letting go path,
And to you I bequeath all that I will be,
I didn’t want to leave when I realized I was gone.
When I realized I didn’t want to be gone I had left-