walking along the shore

There came a day to say goodbye to Love-

It was on this coincidental day when we take a walk,

you can hold my hand but we choose to turn every once and awhile to look at each other.

we’re young and this sets the stage for every other time, we share something into the future.

it was drawn out, long winded and wordy, small words being thrown back and forth.

it feels like a story form, from foam, from forms of foam, it’s stormy remembering it was about- Love.

my eyes can’t keep themselves off your lips and they’re drowned in your eyes

why my being melts is a wonder to me

but existence is priceless

nothing in common

Should have known better

should have known, something

just what we think

the shape- ways

in the end it is

it’s Trying to change, and its all the same

right back at the start of the end

was it all wrong or was it all different

and the shapes are never the same

you can’t complete that which is not complete on its own

slipping between the moments

the keys can be heard and the doors are always better opened

let me close the doors

nobody knows

the person that opens the door-

that life is like glass transparent and fragile

it’s like… you know what i mean?

you know?

you know-

stop saying that- your repeating yourself

lets go back to the beginning, so…

-and then

it was all out and nothing matters- it was me, it was, her, now that i remember.

you know it all seems so far away and an age can be lived in one’s years.

Yeah that’s how it started, when direction was in flux, & the beach looks so much more beautiful when you don’t know what it means.

do what makes you happy- thats all

So this conversation has to happen- that’s what you think.

the most important thing is to just do , don’t over think don’t second guess,

do it how you want to do it, my way.

does it matter how to feel

how do you feel?

does anything change

do you want to hear what to say

where does what to say come from,

nothing can change the past-

to be in love and to feel love for someone,

we can’t be sold on love & security

And then,

there’s a couple of things to remember about, the then and the now-

purpose changes, and it’s hard sometimes to remember and within time there’s feelings

saying good bye was always hard when traveling, in the end though one always comes home-

sometimes home has no heart

goodbye time, goodbye-

letting go was easy when you had only to get rid of time, only to forget the past

it was all too easy and it means more just to waste times

the house was abandoned and she yelled at the top of her lungs.

cough up the blood and tell me what it taste like,

Acid in the mouth with a foul feeling in the stomach,

something was wrong, something was the matter-

My broken heart told me my last poem was based on a true story

it won’t help-

this changes nothing.

day tripper

further between the lines

it turned into the worst

right back at the start of things

seeing the back of my head led me to realize

every time there’s going to be one more thing to learn

tomorrow waits for no one,

between the years time had given the seasons

between the end, time had forgotten its beginning

she told me everything that had to be heard

she told me never to forget her name

she said bring me security

bring me to the future

tell me all the worries of the unknown

bring me between my thoughts and tell me-

who you are

is who i am

the Again Cycle

Again, in a cycle of thought.

Again we started with a cycle of thoughts.

Once more- the impression of the cycle of thoughts.

It comes and goes but your reminded that the ending and the beginning will come again.

Again, it felt unusual to reoccupy the same space at a different time.

At the time the cycle is- perpetual, escape is impossible.

You couldn’t realize it, the end was being sketched out, ahead of time-

How could this be- Again?

Something other than what was going on was happening, again-

Sedan weapons training

outside the car you couldn’t see the length of time it had lived through.

with a little smoke and some watery nights even then you still didn’t notice it.

Unassuming, and a weapon in disguise,

on the inside all the true love she had for everything showed and it could be further assumed that this was, because-

but the mere surface of the facade that lay at the foundation was for far better uses.

living with pain and suffering, is a privilage

everyday, will never be the same-

Everyday will take its toll,

You are no better than the rest, no more lucky than anyone else-

your injuries will never be forgotten-

only the lucky get old,

and senility is the end of the beginning.

time is running out

All the time in the world,

the time has come, all the clocks had the wrong time

and still there was so much more time to

laugh it up

he was the type to act out scenes instead of singing songs when he was alone,

and he didn’t know any better- he asked me once to get away,

thinking back to all those times

we were lucky to have one another’s company,

and he asked me to get away, the thought process was stuck

and sometimes we miss the ones that make us who we are,

who we became-

He gave away everything he had to,

he gave me everything he had to give,

taking was my pleasure and giving was their error

and he asked me once again to get away.

my connection is fading out

All the wrong things had pointed me to the right choice.

At the same time-

You were the best that all my wrong choices pointed me to, delivered in shadows.

At the same time, it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t your privilege, it was our blessing and all the time had been spent thinking of all the other things.

Our diplomatic manners had principles of ethics- but at the wrong time.

This message had been understood many times and it was only through trying to redefine old terms that proof was found and paved a path to the past.

-at the same time, Hearing what you wanted brought you back, to a different music. The harmony is off and the discord is present but at times the rhythm seems consistent.

Two friends hiding from one another

-it was bad, it had gone to worse before but, never like this.

the four walls around me laugh and prosecute every second of my frame in this cell

leaving me to die in an airless room was becoming my ironic disaster

my hearts beating rapidly and it seems like my vision is haunting me with my eyes closed waiting for my suffocation.

The devil let me know what had happened and brought me back to this style of reality-

in my cell he left me to wait, he said it would take my curiosity to dare its self further,

selling the last thing in my possession would be the end.

But- it was not being able to deal with the pride of responsibility allowed for the sins of the father to come to fruition.

My so Called Death

Have i told you lately about Death? You make me whole and having you so far far away makes me yearn for your presence and nothing compares to your company and all your beauty.

Can I close my eyes- see your lips and feel your eyes pierce my heart?

your hair’s so soft-

Death can understand how a man can push forward even through the most difficult of times.
Not sure why i wanted to say these things other just because you drive me crazy- in a good way,

if I’m being honest.

Yours, and you cry mine

death, you know what to say-

it was mistake to enslave me,

she marked me, with her torture

short of breath, my body isn’t sweating, and it’s hard to see

what was going on was nothing to do with self abuse,

how had this all come to be?

murder, rape, these things had never crossed my mind other than, being better than cancer.

it can’t take me down, but my body’s sick

her bite made me melt, and her taste gave me life.

There’s nothing to lose, nothing to gain, there’s nothing waiting for me- Or so thinking to myself allows me to do what it is that happens every other time.

Wanting to Listen to Somethings

Excuse me,

I read your palm the other day,

excuse me,

thinking about about what to say I read your palm but ended up reading my own.

all by myself

Wanting to listen to somethings

the next lie was approaching but it was truth and it hummed loudly of the truth

it was false it was from the truth that it came it was loud, and it could not be escaped it was thought, inside it was loud it yelled so loud it was silent, but it meant no harm and so it was deadly like so many things, it was natural- Blinded by its power, my malice was exposed- ecumenically dull with intent and blinding with brightness, the strength of its exposure was pain.

Loud piercing sting of pain it relieves the void.

Balance is like a childhood ballet played out in the symphony of past memories-

long since youth was over yet still over and over the reoccurring thoughts recycle the happiness of over

and over

in rhythm and harmony an artificial world creates imperfections

the sweet ending sleep of reality.

Self-Help

We aren’t suppose to mince words and my age allows me to be direct so let it be known

remember that once upon a time your shoes were mine but mine were worn under circumstance,

well time is not forgiving me for my past, presently my actions seem blunt, but there’s a time for the conspicuous. In offense no offense must be taken with being direct- my order of events has come and gone.

Returning to how things happen how things happened there was no sense of confidence that comes from just being and negotiating with how things should be and how things will be slows the process down- it protects nothing and fears everything.

Happily ever after-

On the way to school it was hard to pretend hard to forget of the truth of how things were, shallow waters allowed me to see the bottom and the reflection wasn’t clear but getting closer made me see things.

Seeing things for what their parts were for what they were injected with, the essence of so many other things, failure to concentrate allows you to forget the things you see when last we forgot the drugs were bad and the last time she forgot was in the arms of another day with another person,

robbing all of my possibilities all my actions seemed to force me to act in only one way- the war with reality was constant and it seems that unknown forces push us in the direction we least wish to see us go. Choose sides between evils of different kinds.

She was kind and he didn’t know why…

Involved in her own ways and inverted thoughts he was no part of her she was him and reflecting her self off others gave them the satisfaction of empty beauty.

Lemme Know-

imagine that there was a right and wrong imagine the unthinkable the perfect shape and the knot so, tight. Listen to the voice in your head.

Constant words linger and fade.

Faded, but the loudest are here to stay.

Remember, don’t forget- this is not ` the writing on the wall, this is the reading inside the walls.

Faith in prayers and the words on the piece of paper speak to you,

Flexitol, flex, flexible, and then written in bigger words Loyalty.

To my self, please tell me now, the answers. He said

You know what I’m talking about.

Was there something missing. By the looks of it I can’t understand what your talking about.

You know what I’m talking about.

Do you want to take it internal or just topically. What-

SlurpSlurp

SENDING MY SELF TO HELL

refusing to see the danger in a situation was a courage that was far gone from the present.

Paying close attention to you, lets go-

she wrote home, a letter- telling him to not worry if everything was planed the situation would be fine

he couldn’t let go of the feelings that he was placing himself in,

rhythm

Certainly things are never the same, changes happen, people change,

“better days” will come and the refusal was standing there- glorious with infinity radiating outwards

Subscriptions and Refusals flirted with one another everyday, talking to each other teasing themselves.

He was done- lived many lives had many bad days but the few good times out weighed all else-

The end is welcomed and who has the courage to leap into infinity, no one

the leap must be a submission-

A submarine mission to seek and destroy, all doubt.

She deceived every truth and conquered deception and made it hers

she had become the serpent just standing there waiting,

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