Have i told you lately about Death? You make me whole and having you so far far away makes me yearn for your presence and nothing compares to your company and all your beauty.
Can I close my eyes- see your lips and feel your eyes pierce my heart?
your hair’s so soft-
Death can understand how a man can push forward even through the most difficult of times.
Not sure why i wanted to say these things other just because you drive me crazy- in a good way,
if I’m being honest.
Yours, and you cry mine
death, you know what to say-
it was mistake to enslave me,
she marked me, with her torture
short of breath, my body isn’t sweating, and it’s hard to see
what was going on was nothing to do with self abuse,
how had this all come to be?
murder, rape, these things had never crossed my mind other than, being better than cancer.
it can’t take me down, but my body’s sick
her bite made me melt, and her taste gave me life.
There’s nothing to lose, nothing to gain, there’s nothing waiting for me- Or so thinking to myself allows me to do what it is that happens every other time.
I read your palm the other day,
thinking about about what to say I read your palm but ended up reading my own.
all by myself
Wanting to listen to somethings
the next lie was approaching but it was truth and it hummed loudly of the truth
it was false it was from the truth that it came it was loud, and it could not be escaped it was thought, inside it was loud it yelled so loud it was silent, but it meant no harm and so it was deadly like so many things, it was natural- Blinded by its power, my malice was exposed- ecumenically dull with intent and blinding with brightness, the strength of its exposure was pain.
Loud piercing sting of pain it relieves the void.
Balance is like a childhood ballet played out in the symphony of past memories-
long since youth was over yet still over and over the reoccurring thoughts recycle the happiness of over
in rhythm and harmony an artificial world creates imperfections
the sweet ending sleep of reality.
We aren’t suppose to mince words and my age allows me to be direct so let it be known
remember that once upon a time your shoes were mine but mine were worn under circumstance,
well time is not forgiving me for my past, presently my actions seem blunt, but there’s a time for the conspicuous. In offense no offense must be taken with being direct- my order of events has come and gone.
Returning to how things happen how things happened there was no sense of confidence that comes from just being and negotiating with how things should be and how things will be slows the process down- it protects nothing and fears everything.
Happily ever after-
On the way to school it was hard to pretend hard to forget of the truth of how things were, shallow waters allowed me to see the bottom and the reflection wasn’t clear but getting closer made me see things.
Seeing things for what their parts were for what they were injected with, the essence of so many other things, failure to concentrate allows you to forget the things you see when last we forgot the drugs were bad and the last time she forgot was in the arms of another day with another person,
robbing all of my possibilities all my actions seemed to force me to act in only one way- the war with reality was constant and it seems that unknown forces push us in the direction we least wish to see us go. Choose sides between evils of different kinds.
She was kind and he didn’t know why…
Involved in her own ways and inverted thoughts he was no part of her she was him and reflecting her self off others gave them the satisfaction of empty beauty.
imagine that there was a right and wrong imagine the unthinkable the perfect shape and the knot so, tight. Listen to the voice in your head.
Constant words linger and fade.
Faded, but the loudest are here to stay.
Remember, don’t forget- this is not ` the writing on the wall, this is the reading inside the walls.
Faith in prayers and the words on the piece of paper speak to you,
Flexitol, flex, flexible, and then written in bigger words Loyalty.
To my self, please tell me now, the answers. He said
You know what I’m talking about.
Was there something missing. By the looks of it I can’t understand what your talking about.
You know what I’m talking about.
Do you want to take it internal or just topically. What-
SENDING MY SELF TO HELL
refusing to see the danger in a situation was a courage that was far gone from the present.
Paying close attention to you, lets go-
she wrote home, a letter- telling him to not worry if everything was planed the situation would be fine
he couldn’t let go of the feelings that he was placing himself in,
Certainly things are never the same, changes happen, people change,
“better days” will come and the refusal was standing there- glorious with infinity radiating outwards
Subscriptions and Refusals flirted with one another everyday, talking to each other teasing themselves.
He was done- lived many lives had many bad days but the few good times out weighed all else-
The end is welcomed and who has the courage to leap into infinity, no one
the leap must be a submission-
A submarine mission to seek and destroy, all doubt.
She deceived every truth and conquered deception and made it hers
she had become the serpent just standing there waiting,
I pictured my self at a table, sitting waiting to eat the meal right in front of me.
She was gone and waiting for her, I could see her all around- the diamonds’ bright shine couldn’t blind me. Everybody who wasn’t there was smiling and in the newspapers the story read that they’d gone away- but she had taken him away.
At the same time all the adjectives roamed inside a head and the fire was spitting at everyone. Doing the right thing, feeling the smart and doing what you should do, made everything a little clearer when describing the confidence of faith.
It put some people to sleep- his words his tone about this or that.
Mine was different and at the same time, that thing that you didn’t know you were looking for but has always been two steps ahead of you in life.
It had begun to hurt.
Pain is always new and this pain can only be felt the first time.
Looking for something not knowing what it is your looking for is driving the car on the wrong sense- Can you get to where you need to go?
Not without you, but this is too good to be, to good to be real.
It’s everything you want it to be- just be flexible, Fluid, flux- don’t ask how just ask when-
take me away from here-
My trip began when we waved goodbye.
take me away from here,
It was part of my dissection.
Saying goodbye was the best part of leaving on vacation.
Vacations mark the beginning of a trip and where we would meet up, you’d never’ve gone before. Packing up all my things was the best part about traveling.
Unpacking was such a chore, the catalog of garments and the articles clung to the bags they’d been in. With all the pain that was felt, with the departure of ourselves, we forgot how we had gotten there.
When my heart was torn off my sleeve the belief was that it would be given back, but my feelings meant more to me than others could begin to appreciate.
Traveling was difficult and someday we won’t find ourselves on a voyage, shunted to the applause of a silent audience.
We were getting old and wearing the same faces.
From time to time my thoughts wander
and you were not able to be replaced and telling you would defeat the purpose
in another world, in another country you will chase me in my dreams and escape is futile-
your eyes shine brighter than my eyes could see, and it wasn’t too long ago that looking into the sun made me blind-
kiss me until I fall asleep on your shoulder, kiss me when we’re in front of strangers
please me when you look me in the eyes, please me until we cant stay up any longer
when you started to kiss me my heart pounded me to death and bled my desires through my pores
your smile stabbed me in my heart with happiness
it couldn’t be anything
other than Happiness
The time had come and had gone.
-the here and the now was in present form and adequate but the future was deteriorating times’ presence in the now.
Tomorrow morning you said goodbye,
and it was just a dream, and you told me to save my prayers for later
The air was cool and crisp the wind bit at my skin and remembering your teeth
your presence was needed- draw my blood and mark me with your teeth
you don’t understand my words
we called it paradise, and all my prayers were answered-
when the channels were changed the screen didn’t change it said the same thing-
you felt the same and you didn’t let it show
feeling you like you should
you should be with us,
feeling like we do, but never will again.
Everything happens in one direction few things are done once.
-everything gets done nothing is left to waste
no one dies and
who needs not be taken care off by themselves
you are the easiest variable to manage,
when this began the essence of the script was written-
you said you couldn’t and denied the acclaims
but now, after all this time your ready,
ready to be your end and know the path is set ahead
there was no message other than the one left for the death date-
She did it to me again
and she did it to me again and it was different than the first time,
in my mind the single thought of pleasure was present-
my thoughts drifted away, from what I thought
And when I opened my eyes- my heart was racing
her eyes are on me
when things came to a stop and things didn’t stop
things were different
When this all began nothing was known
and the gift of memory was given
experiences come and go
and the gift you gave me no one knows-
Picking back up it was a bit exagerated, making up for lost time, it had been my gift to persue the most beautiful thing that had ever been thought- to revist the past and not let it be the last -
Time, has a way with words, thoughts and minds- think that it speeds up and slows down, now the speeds in me- it pushes me forward and my initiative is your persuasion and when had all this begun? it’s dooms day for the fortress of solitude, and your haunting the decisions being made, with the force of perpetual motion and over time- things develop, things unravel and just turn out,
in the beginning is one thing and in the end is another but this is the here in the now with then and now intermixed-
She walked into the room- slowly the silence blanketed the space, and the noise was deafening, and my ears began to bleed. Her fingernails wore the color, racing down my earlobes- and it felt cool running down my cheek. You didn’t see my emotions, my face, cold with expressions of hate, you didn’t notice my heart was pounding, pumping blood- making me nervous, making me hard to deal with others. Constantly evading your encounter- she started to look me in the eyes, and my mind was driven crazy blinding me with a light that parallels looking into the sun.
Bringing her gaze closer my mind was mesmerized, touched by the infinite flames of a rising phoenix, the rebirth caused me ecstasy. Things got sticky and my skin was wet with perspiration, my nerves weren’t doing me justice.
Leaning closer a meeting between you and I was the only resolution- in the beginning there were no places to be met at no where to go but now- we were too much for one time and place, too much tension…
I waited and then when we met again- she drew first blood, she leaned in closer and with out a word attracted me, with all my strength resistance was futile- her bite was soft and then dug deeper, piercing my skin imprinting me with a desire to feel her pain- it was the only way to satisfy my urges to punish her torture, inflicted on me. I would live forever I would be young forever with her bite i would never feel the same in my days to come.
A long time ago my childhood was taken away from me by myself
it wasn’t until they took you away that we met again under the same sky with different faces
my tiny words and meaningless feelings said nothing and kept themselves cool and distant
time was tearing apart who it was that wasn’t me and who it was that it could be
all my words became useless to myself and everything started again
racing towards the end didn’t help the distance, it still covered the same ground.
So we held hands for the first time, as teenagers after their times’, and far from one another.
A long time ago, things were funny in the beginning and now in the end, its funny how things will start-
Today there was an accident, and a man looked confused, another was walking away. A memory appeared out of a time when- they experienced an accident.
When once we acted like god, when being consistent allows for spontaneity, a frog did not die.
To write one must organize, to think one must organize,
organized my thoughts of words,
organized my words to form my thoughts and realized the same accident-
They had gone through another persons’ feeling of anguish. They smiled to think about when it was and when it is. So far away their thought- that person will be OK, even if they don’t look it. We made the deadline opposing all organization and realized what was speeding up.
There was a book and it was not wanted by its owner. Poetry written, He thought was a class below writing your poetry, like a musician who likened music making and not listening- he was too close and too far away, from the source material. Sometimes you have to get Skittled out and get gay with it. There’s a reason why, we know all the information we don’t use on a regular basis, and because it is so we ought to rethink review or reanimate the thought process.
Content needs more,
-forgetting all about it?
Needs, more content is what was heard in a ringing manner and Obscure has a tendency.
She didn’t kiss like the last one
remembering that kiss like it was yesterday,
our last kiss was forgotten and my memory gets blurry so soon ago.
she kissed like from the past-
so go on and let me feel the accident of our saliva
and the regard came from my subscription
funny how we are remembered for the last thing we do and not the first.
Funny how kissing doesn’t follow the rules, the sensual first kiss,
kissing isn’t remembered for its last act,
Funny how we aren’t remembered for what we first did
funny how that kiss will always be with us,
every other kiss is gone,
all leading up to the one we will never remember,
it was quiet and paying you too much attention-
our first kiss was all about how you made me feel.