My real name

this is what it had to be, no other way than the way it was

the equation,

he interrupted everyone all the time, just to blurt out the one thought inspired from what he had just heard, it’s just a story put into a situation

it was told he was the man that didn’t care, but all his resolve and the heart he wore on his shoulder showed his doubters his hate was his love,

to be known and to be remembered

to forget and not to remember,

being here has been so long,

the time has been passing me, never can you fall

and in the beginning the stature was tall but now it’s nothing at all,

the approach was much different but the landing was three points steady

remember to forget

when the idea escaped me, when time moved faster it was easier and now its slower

your wrong, that’s not the way it is- that’s backwards

control the effect not the cause and the result is mirrored,

There is a time when you don’t know what it is.

It’s all the times-

when caring for too many,

has destroyed you and left you alone.

because

There’s a time when your mistakes are just mistakes.

Even when we never want to die, death has come to us in many ways.

&…

Love is, a rather unusual feeling, to express in a time when you haven’t a clue what it is.

It’s the first time… your kiss- tells the story for a memory’s lifetime never to be compared to the last-

as if, our hearts are sometimes big enough to over love.

Youth is the only criminal in breaking hearts,

because of all sins-

making someone heartbroken is a burden to carry.

&

Ring it up- on the phone with you

can’t act different

your sometimes foolish,

are you not,

when assumptions are made and

as if there’s no use

and no

re view being made, your

false

and always failing, so-

act, a fool

There is a story,

about a boy who once learned, to love his enemies -in order to defeat them.

It wasn’t after he realized his own hate

and

its need- to be transformed into love

that -he would conquer his enemy.

dear Alaska,

it’s taken too long to leave the subtropics

my skin yearns to feel the cool chill of the evening night

my blood’s warm with your withdrawal

all the circumstances tell me you’ve forgotten who we used to be

wars,

we fought them-

all internal conflicts and

struggles for power, make me wish you were here-

year after year- it’s becoming more futile to struggle

one day my promise will be kept-

for you, for justice, for what’s in my words are more than

defining terms,

voice trembles with soul

lust, anger and passion drive me insane,

Alaska your so far

my every step forward distracts our reunion

is it too late to be on time-

he was addicted beyond hitting rock bottom,

because

responsible addicts plan for the circumstances

and

the apathy is alienated amongst all chains of denial

so

as addicts do they reason and turn fate into faith

but

when he knew it was too much, he traded his addiction

because

all else failed except for obsession

and

confessing his withdrawals, the only thing he had, left him-

so

self destruction comes quick and -contrary to a steady pyramid

because

even the best can become opposite to themselves

Love was the only thing I could make,

This statement is false.

my beauty was in how well I cared,

I thought that-

I could create something beautiful,

I thought that-

all the hatred was,

only a defining characteristic-

of how good,

my beautiful could be-

she wrote- inside my book of sketches-

There’s a letter on the desktop. I dug it out of a drawer. The last truce we ever came to in an adolescent war. And I start to feel the fever of the warm air in between. It comes regular like seasons shadowing my dream. And there’s not enough room in this world for my pain- signals cross and love gets lost and time passed makes it plain. Of all my demon spirits I need you the most. I’m in love with your ghost. I burn your presence and you know how I feel. To be awakened like Achilles w/you always at my heels. I’ve never been this shallow, so shallow I can’t touch- the waves are strong the wind is fine but the river is to deep. I am baptized by your touch I am no worse than most-

I’m in love with your ghost.

my love was

my betrayal,

its venom coursed

through veins of self hate,

my drug was love

loved my drugs,

it consumed as much as it did good,

little by little,

stakes are doubled

there is- only one way out

reason your addiction

its obvious-

the end is but a matter of time,

things will happen

hate will happen

too quick and too slow-

once upon a time,

love betrayed its addiction to hate.