I’m never as much in Love with you as when your not with me.
Time after time and day after day of our months together,
my feelings were never as resonating
discord was left to shelter us away from one another
it failed in the end, it wasn’t what it was
it wasn’t, It was a privileged failure
Your company left me lonely, to feel your presence left me privileged.
Saying goodbye was hard and understanding how to like it was my responsibility, to fall for you one last time to fall for your memory, your haunting impression upon my past.
You told me you were far away, you told me it wasn’t the same, you told me it wasn’t what it used to be.
One day you won’t be in the “so far away”.
One day, my path will catch up to yours, but your footsteps will remind me you were only there-
You told me a long time ago to “let go”,
and its been lost since you said that.
My imagination runs wild,
my reasoning is pretty vacant,
and so it amuses me to think your stuck in my mind
in my memories and
you aren’t who it was you were
this is something different.
When did we start talking to one another? It was months ago-
Well its been years now and your still there,
-you tell me who’s right and who’s not “so my type”, you tell me to remember
and our time can never be forgotten
what you taught me, what you told me-
was what was given to you, & was granted to me in passing.
although you might not have what it takes not to be, maybe there’s much more things that are greater for you to become? and just being able to be is something you can do along the way to achieving that. beauty is temporal- for humans on the outside, and inside so it should not be a lasting desire but merely something to show sequence in life-
it’s taken too long to leave the subtropics
my skin yearns to feel the cool chill of the evening night
my blood’s warm with your withdrawal
all the circumstances tell me you’ve forgotten who we used to be
we fought them-
all internal conflicts and
struggles for power, make me wish you were here-
year after year- it’s becoming more futile to struggle
one day my promise will be kept-
for you, for justice, for what’s in my words are more than
voice trembles with soul
lust, anger and passion drive me insane,
Alaska your so far
my every step forward distracts our reunion
is it too late to be on time-
we didn’t stop we just didn’t resist
your yelling and we haven’t even started fighting
it’s built up all the things that have happened,
it hurt your feelings and it’s not fair
for either of us evil is devious-
this is just another letter, just another attempt.
Waiting in hell for heaven is just a newcomers hope.
faith doesn’t guide me…
it blinds my reason, in an all enveloping eloquence-
Coming home the streets were empty
the clouds blanketed the sky and its been much cleaner before.
This might be the last time we ever here from one another
maybe the last words anyone reads so
The streets seem weathered by peoples presence, and the silence is deafening,
In the faces of men and women I see God, and in my
own face in the glass,
I find letters from God dropt in the street, and every
one is sign’d by God’s name,
And I leave them where they are, for I know that
wheresoe’er I go,
Others will punctually come for ever and ever.
my love letters are lost in Alaska,
all those times
gadgets go misplaced and my words take so long to reach you
will you come back-
can you ever journey to the subtropics
the heat is unbearable but your presence is desired
we make all the wrong choices being truthful
strategy tells me to avoid the flux of our love
when the ultimate love was sought
it is, was you-
waving good byes
and this is my parting letter
the words that will tell you the other place is (ok) for me
it’s important to say because we never wanted to stay-
the best gift was that of everything and everything is nothing all at once
fear was what they made me feel and others felt my wrath
take me home and let me show you who we could be when we don’t worry about anything and everything-
don’t laugh you’ll be there one day (where now we go, you will too)
and to say it was said before has no meaning when no one can speak in the nothing
and everything is said and still nothing is heard the same- silent noise
all my love letters are mailed to Alaska
just- to ask her
come back to me
come and you can see
she can relax between all the cracks
please just ask her
love letter to Alaska,
all the stamps mark my defeat
if only it was OK to cheat
not sure all my words were meant to be pure
not like filtered water
or canon fodder
she won’t forget at all
my love letters are mailed to Alaska
in the form of choruses
here’s a seashell
from the seashore
-first the sands were,
under my feet
-you were so far away
what was found, is given
receive my shell,
return it to the sea,
revisit the beach
hear the ocean
bury the dead
under the waters
Harmonious lucidity over seas-
if you see birds land is near, the birds don’t fly that way,
following my reality to its end & my reality follows its end
hope is just having enough life, to take me to the next level
alone and venturing forward, speaking of which land to go to
its no waste to go nowhere or there or anywhere
Nothing can tell the story better than,
she was the girl, the elite-
with every move she carried her self in an unimaginable uncaring perfection that balanced
harmony with grace.
she wrote- inside my book of sketches-
There’s a letter on the desktop. I dug it out of a drawer. The last truce we ever came to in an adolescent war. And I start to feel the fever of the warm air in between. It comes regular like seasons shadowing my dream. And there’s not enough room in this world for my pain- signals cross and love gets lost and time passed makes it plain. Of all my demon spirits I need you the most. I’m in love with your ghost. I burn your presence and you know how I feel. To be awakened like Achilles w/you always at my heels. I’ve never been this shallow, so shallow I can’t touch- the waves are strong the wind is fine but the river is to deep. I am baptized by your touch I am no worse than most-
I’m in love with your ghost.
There’s a folder with a love affair in it. All the letters that I had to respond to.
Mixed emotions can fill you quickly when your a romantic, and it was time that made me.
All the letters had dripped down my fingertips, all the words had perspired from my thoughts.
My mistakes were ours to share and this is the first time in my life that its happened.
It makes me feel so good to talk to you and when we weren’t- the words were filling my head.
It’s all those thoughts in my head, in my words that make love to your mind, and its me who’s the foolish one, love is not an affair to be played with.
Outrunning desire is a feeling that neglects thought- and lock your mind around the truth-
The desires were in my mind, locked together, my words touched me when they touched the other, feeling like we do but never will again. Drawn together we had become- a fire of water.
Koonut- Kaliffee. Minds locked together-
I can’t find the time to tell you
-there were moments that I want all to myself,
so many moments that could fill a book ,
and I never lied to you-
but I couldn’t tell your beauty
because my love came from caring and I cared so much for you
maybe your wrong,
but I can’t find the time to tell you,
and now the time has come,
time, was, is and now
I can’t find the time to tell you,